The Paralyzing Need Of Giving Yourself A Title
What hides underneath the feeling that we need to have a serious title to be able to follow our calling
Ironically enough, I have started and rewritten this article many times now. Usually, writing comes easy for me. I know what I want to say, and I put it down on paper. But this piece leaves me paralyzed.
If I would just finally write what I want to say, it would sound something like- we do not need labels and titles to fulfill our calling. But then I fall back into the trap and think- but who am I to declare it? Am I allowed to make such a statement? Maybe I should label myself after all?
It used to be so easy
When I was younger, I was jumping from one profession, hobby, and project to another without any hesitation. I was approaching everything I do as an experiment. I agreed to almost any new endeavor that would come my way. I knew I had nothing to lose but so much to gain.
I have been an entrepreneur, freelancer, and contractor. I have organized events and written tons of community projects. I have been a producer, cameraman, radio host, waitress, improviser, copywriter, volunteer, and clothing brand creator- and none of that ever made me feel that I needed a nice piece of paper from a prestigious organization that would prove that I can and am allowed to operate in the certain area.
The three stages of self-search
I came across an interview with Signe Inspiration who is a transformation coach and a healer. Now.
Not so long ago she was a powerful woman with two higher educations, one in medicine and the other one in law. She was a well-known entrepreneur who founded private, high-end medical clinics and for some time was the head of the Patient Right’s office in Latvia.
Now she was sharing her journey from all the strong titles she had accumulated during her career to stripping herself down to what she has always been- a healer. She told something that hit very close to home.
There are three stages in how healers “come out of the closet”.
First is when people understand that for many years they have been abandoning something in themselves. They realize they cannot continue as before and start the journey of self-healing. They seek therapy, and spiritual practices and are trying to find answers to what is “wrong” with them. They have started a journey towards their true self.
After several years of soul searching, the second stage comes. It is the realization that healing is bringing them a lot of light and they feel an inner calling to share it. They start searching for different labels and titles to hide behind. Psychologists, yoga instructors, medical personnel- whatever sounds serious enough for them.
The third stage is the big reveal. It is when people understand that no title is comprehensive enough to explain who they are. They embrace their abilities and start to speak clear language about what they bring into this world.
I thought these stages are relevant for absolutely everyone who is building up the courage to follow their true calling. A healer is a perfect example, though, because it is an objectively ambiguous occupation with a lot of mysticism and stigma attached. It is harder to be open about your life experiences if you know that there will be an unknown amount of skepticism directed your way.
But the main realization I had was that absolutely everyone, no matter the occupation, is going to have a hard time coming out and declaring to the world- this is my true self.
Titles and labels are shields of protection
Working with small entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, and freelancers, I see that 90% of people go through the exact same things in the first year of business.
At first, they create a logo and a business name to hide behind. Something abstract enough that does not give away their identity.
Very often they use “we” when talking about their business even if they are a team of one. They list all their experience, education, and titles they have accumulated to prove that they are worthy enough to know something. When they share their knowledge, they always search for references to back the idea up.
They wrap themselves into as many layers of security as they can.
Only after a year or so, do they start to realize that people do not resonate with them. They are hidden so deep under all the impersonal things, that their potential customers just don’t get who they are and why they should trust them.
It is the moment when entrepreneur feels they need to reveal their face and they feel confident enough that no one is out there to get them. They start using their real name. They start owning their opinions, ideas, and insights. And that is where the magic happens.
It is vulnerable when it’s personal
I started to realize that the closer my work is to my soul, the more frightening it gets. It is terrifying to go out there and declare:
“ I have finally done all the shadow work and found my true self.
Here, here, come and see my naked heart and vulnerable being!”
What if people think I suck at it? It is all I got!
It is comforting to have a prestigious title or at least a ten-year experience to back up what is my true calling, my personal abilities, and my superpowers.
The problem is, all the time we chase those titles, dive into education, learn, and search for answers, we neglect our calling. We get stuck in inaction. And our souls keep on hurting.
So, I say, we do not need all those titles and labels to start doing what makes us happy. To do what our soul guides us to do.
I keep on thinking about a distant acquaintance from many years back who desperately wanted to volunteer in a dog shelter but did not allow it to himself because “he didn’t have enough knowledge about cynology”. I really hope he got over it.
I really hope we all get over it.
Thank you fo reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Let's meet in the comment section!
